A Parent's Example

In the previous article, I mentioned that the married couple are the decision making institution of a family, and a few people raised an eyebrow at that.

"Don't the kids have anything to say?"  This question came through loud and clear, and the answer, of course, is "Of course."

In the Guardian's often-overlooked work, Baha'i Administration, we find the following:

They should, within the limits of wise discretion, take the friends into their confidence, acquaint them with their plans, share with them their problems and anxieties, and seek their advice and counsel.

This is one of those quotes that refers to an Assembly consulting with their community, but what happens when we apply the Macro - Micro rule to it?  We can read it as follows:

The parents should, within the limits of wise discretion, take the children into their confidence, acquaint them with their plans, share with them their problems and anxieties, and seek their advice and counsel.

I remember being in a community many years ago and the subject of children came up at a Feast.  Some people were complaining about the children in the community, while others were talking about how we should treat them with love and respect.  It was an odd consultation to my untrained ears and I spoke about how showing respect to someone includes seriously listening to them.  I asked if we ever asked the children about what they would like to see in the community.

The response was not at all what I expected, nor have I encountered it again.

Someone got up and actually said, "Yes, we should seriously  listen to the children, but we shouldn't take what they say seriously."

I was stunned.  It was unbelievable to me that someone could actually think such a thought, much less verbalize it.  Fortunately, it was shortly after this that a letter came from the Universal House of Justice that spoke of the need to listen to children.  The Supreme Institution truly is inspired.

Now, it is easy for me to speak of such lofty ideals, such as acquainting little children with the problems of their parents, but how does this apply in real life?  What does it look like?

When I was a child, my Father lost his job.  I remember he came home that evening and sat down with us children and explained what this might mean for the family if he couldn't get another job.  He then proceeded to ask our advice about what he should do.  Should he seek another job in a similar career?  Start his own company?  The choices were vast.

I was only around 6 at the time.

I am fairly sure that I must have said something like, "Well, we can go to Disneyland."  But really, what I said is not that important.  What mattered was that he took the time to ask me, as well as my siblings.  He made us all feel included in this major life decision that he was facing.  It didn't matter that we were so young.  We were his family, and that is where he turned.

He "shared" with us his "problems and anxieties", sought our "advice and counsel", and he did so within the limits of "wise discretion".  In the end, however, like an Assembly, the decision was his.

Now, with a child of my own who is around the same age I was at the time, I regularly remember this and say, "Thanks, Dad, for the example".