Dawn Prayers, day 7

There was a car there this morning when I went down to the beach. And as I approached, I saw two women sitting on the bench near where Marielle and I usually say our prayers. Now, Marielle and I don't usually sit on the bench. We sit on a log just in front of it, with another longer, but lower, log in front that acts as a little table for the incense she often burns.

But let me start again. This morning I awoke around 5:50, and Marielle and my Mom were still sound asleep. I was fairly awake and realized that, once again, God was my alarm clock (as opposed to a few days ago when my alarm clock was God). (That's a reference to "Thou hast wakened me out of my sleep".) And so I headed on down to the beach by myself, camera, drum and prayer book all in hand, anticipating a sunrise of prayers all by my lonesome.

Well, that was not to be.

As soon as I was near the bench one of the women said that she was glad to see someone else down to see the sunrise. She went on to explain that she lives near there and her friend was visiting and that watching the sunrise was on her bucket list. Our conversation went on to all sorts of things, from community building to career development. We talked about world perspectives and how the parents can help shape the vision of a child to allow them to see the wonders of the world.

Aside - A number of years ago there were some car execs from the US who flew to Japan to see what they were doing that was helping their companies just explode in the car business. When they came back, someone interviewed them, and they said that they were unimpressed. "It was all staged", they said. "Those weren't real factories." You see, they had a pre-conceived idea of how factories had to work, and those factories didn't conform to that idea. They were unprepared to see the reality of what they were looking at. I said that her own children, whom she had raised to ask a prayer and look for the universe to give an answer, didn't get regular confirmation because she was right, but because she had given them the chance to see the reality before them.

Aside number 2 - She later said that she was going to read this (Hi!) and see if I went all over the place like our conversation did. (The answer is yes.)

We talked about how every morning is so very different from each other, and how I can read the same prayer every day and how it says something different to me.... No. Scratch that. I can read the same prayer every morning and I hear something different in it each day.

We also talked about practical spirituality, one of my favorite topics (in case you haven't noticed yet). "How do you manage to do dawn prayers every morning?" "Step 1. Get up."

At some point I went off to a log, sat and tapped the drum. I read a few prayers, and felt myself immersing within the ocean of His words. The sun, which seemed so much brighter today than on previous mornings became a beacon of beauty to which I was continually drawn. It was also a reminder of just how much more spectacular prayers are when shared in the presence with others, especially those whom you haven't met before. I mean, it's a treasure to pray with your loved ones, and it's a different joy to pray with new friends.

I took a handful of photos, marveling at the little wonders that I never seem to be able to share with others.

I found a sweet memory that I could share as a little otter swam by. There is something truly wonderful about discovering a tiny beauty, and then being able to share it with others later, much like I am doing here. Perhaps, if I get a chance, I'll post a few of the photos here. This morning, though, I have to get ready to head out to Union Bay with Mom, Marielle and the little guy. So while I may not actually post here for a few more days, I will be taking notes. The place we are staying at is just a short walk from an incredibly beautiful beach, with black sand, and gorgeous view, and large moon snail seashells.

It was a beautiful sunrise today, filled with the promise of a marvelous day. And in addition, I met two new friends. That, in the end, was the best answer to any prayer I may have. Thank you, both of you whom I met on the bench (whose names I won't mention, although I do remember them), for sharing this magical dawn with me this morning.

Well, I guess I was able to share the photos today.

Dawn Prayers, Day 4

"I give praise to Thee,", Baha'u'llah says in one of the morning prayers, "O my God, that Thou hast awakened me out of my sleep, and brought me forth after my disappearance, and raised me up from my slumber. I have wakened this morning with my face set toward the splendors of the Daystar of thy Revelation, through Which the heavens of Thy power and Thy majesty have been illumined, acknowledging Thy signs, believing in Thy Book, and holding fast unto Thy Cord."

This is one of the prayers I have been saying most mornings during this experiment with dawn prayers. (I know. It just seemed like a good one to use. I tried using the one that begins with "I am Thy servant and the son of Thy servant", but I've always felt awkward with that one. My Dad was an atheist, and try as I might, I just don't feel worthy enough to consider myself a servant of God.) (I'm sure the interview for the position is actually quite easy, but I just don't feel I have the necessary qualifications or experience.) (And now back to our regularly scheduled blog.)

"I give praise". Isn't that what started this whole thing? A place where souls gather at daybreak for humble invocation and communion? I give praise, truly I do.

"That Thou hast awakened me out of my sleep." (Wait. What? My alarm clock is God?) It's always good to be grateful for awakening to another beautiful day. I mean, one of these days I'm going to wake up dead, so I try to be grateful for every day I wake up alive.

"And brought me forth after my disappearance." When I read this phrase, a seal popped his head out of the water, and I sort of felt that this is what it must be like. I'm asleep, swimming, in a sense, beneath the ocean of existence, and then suddenly wake up, popping up again to take part in the world above. And much as I might like to stay there, in the ocean of His reality, I still need to breathe, and so must come up every now and again, rising "up from my slumber".

As I continued to read, I envisioned myself waking up (which I probably was doing, despite having already driven down to the beach) and appreciating the beauty of God's creation. I breathed deep of the fresh salt air, enjoyed the light spray of moisture on the breeze, welcomed the myriad sounds of nature. I noticed a patch of orange illuminating a small rift in the clouds, a breech of heaven insinuating itself into this realm. And I became even more aware of the book in my lap. (Try as I might, I could find no cord, except the one connecting my spirit to the realms above.)

"I beseech Thee, by the potency of Thy will and the compelling power of Thy purpose, to make of what Thou didst reveal unto me in my sleep the surest foundation for the mansions of Thy love that are within the hearts of Thy loved ones, and the best instrument for the revelation of the tokens of Thy grace and Thy loving-kindness." I read this and thought about the shallowness of my dreams. With gratitude I continued to read, truly thankful that it is Baha'u'llah's vision towards which we are aiming, His vision, His dream, and not my own. If it were my own vision that became the foundation of these lofty mansions, then we would all be in trouble, for that foundation would not be solid and stable.

Then I recalled Jesus' statement about how there are many mansions in God's house (John 14:2). It is so beautiful., this idea, this truth that there is a mansion of God's love within the hearts of each every one us. And as this thought passed through my own little one-bedroom mansion I realized that one of my joys is to have other people over to visit. And then I thought, "Well, I better clean the place up." And isn't that one of the purposes of prayer and meditation? To clean up the mansion of our heart?

At the moment I recalled a dream I had of Ruhiyyih Khanum. I asked her why she didn't come to people's dreams more often, and she said, "Why would I want to visit so dirty a place?" I realized that if we don't keep our very thoughts pure, then that itself is staining the purity of our heart. It is like when Jesus said that if someone even thinks about committing adultery, it is as if they have already done it (Matthew 5:28). (Isn't it nice of me to give you these references?)

"The best instrument." What God reveals to us, and in particular to Baha'u'llah, is that very best tool for revealing and recognizing the various signs and tokens of God's grace and love. To me, and please remember that all this is just my own opinion and nothing official (it's been a long time since I've mentioned that), this is a reminder to not only trust in what I know of Baha'u'llah's vision, but also to trust my own instincts. They're there for a reason.

"Do Thou ordain for me through Thy most exalted Pen, O my Lord, the good of this world and of the next. I testify that within Thy grasp are held the reins of all things. Thou changest them as Thou pleasest. No God is there save Thee, the Strong, the Faithful." I really do hope for the good in both this world and the next. Not only for myself, but for those around me. And while it is up to God, I also need to work on it. (More on that in the last paragraph.) But that which is good actually changes from time to time. What is good for me today may not be good for me tomorrow. Something that I enjoy today may prove harmful to me later on. That which I believe right now may prove to be wrong later on. God reveals His laws to us over and over again, but sometimes those very laws change because the needs of the society change. I could go on and on about this, about keeping an open mind and examining all things, but this all fits into a massive study of the Kitab-i-Iqan, and this blog is too short for that.

"Thou art He Who changeth through His bidding abasement into glory, and weakness into strength, and powerlessness into might, and fear into calm, and doubt into certainty. No God is there but Thee, the Mighty, the Beneficent." Here I envision someone who has been abused, or through a serious trauma. They have been abased. We have been lowered. Society has taught us that we are far lower than we really are. But Baha'u'llah raises us. He reminds us that we are created noble. He only asks that we arise to that station for which we have been created. He reminds us of our many strengths, and helps us put those strengths to use. Any fears that we may have had find no place left in our heart. And we achieve that wonderful station of certitude when we see the results of what we achieve when we arise to serve.

"Thou disappointest no one who hath sought Thee, nor dost Thou keep back from Thee anyone who hath desired Thee. Ordain Thou for me what becometh the heaven of Thy generosity, and the ocean of Thy bounty. Thou art, verily, the Almighty, the Most Powerful." Remember when I said "more on that..."? Now is that time. While God provides the means, it is we who have to take the steps. It is never God that keeps us back, but ourselves. Whether it is through our laziness or our ego, it is always we who put our own obstacles in our own way. Actually, that's not quite true. There are always obstacles in our way. They are a part of nature. But with perseverance and an openness to new ways, we can overcome anything. And with a readiness to be open to other goals, we will see that sometimes the answer to our prayers is not quite what we may have envisioned. God may never keep us back, but sometimes we try to take a long way around, or just give up entirely.

And all of this passed through my mind and my heart as my wife and I sat there this morning, at the very edge of that ocean.

Dawn Prayers, Day 3

When I was a kid, we used to go to my aunt and uncle's house for Passover Seder every year. My cousin's grandfather, Grandpa Leo, used to preside over the ceremony of the supper, reciting the prayers and leading the family in the remembrance of why we were there. I loved the beauty of the ceremony, the recitations, the stories, and the various tools he had. I loved his yarmulke (probably the single stupidest spelling of any word I know), his shawl, and everything else.

This annual celebration was likely the very beginning of my love for religions.

But now, years later, I realize that I was likely also highly attracted to those various accouterments. And that those very accouterments that attracted me could also have become a distraction to the spirit of the ceremony itself. That, perhaps, is why, as much as I love all those various doodads, I often prefer to just say my prayers with nothing around to distract me.

I thought about this when we got to the beach and my wife began fiddling with the incense and setting up her clarinet. Now I'm not saying that there is a problem with this, but just that I now understand a bit more about why I don't deal with any of that. I appreciate it, but I don't go out of my way for it. (Actually, I really loved the wafting scent that occasionally blew in my direction today.)

This morning, as we were driving down to the beach, my wife was saying that she had a new understanding of prayers and healing. She said that a way to approach healing through prayer is to state the intention and then turn all your attention to God. This is different from what most do, as they often turn towards God and then focus on the problem they want to fix. This is focusing on the negative. But if you simply state your intention, then you can turn towards the light and focus all your attention on the positive, allowing it to flow where it needs.

This, incidentally, is what the short healing prayer seems to look like. Almost the entire prayer is dedicated to focusing on God. It starts with mentioning the need for healing, but then seems to go on to all sorts of other things.

When we were sitting at the beach reading some prayers, I read one of the morning prayers, which has the phrase, "with my thoughts fixed so steadfastly upon Thee", and realized that this is another confirmation of this insight Marielle had.

So, today. This morning. We were sitting on a log, alone on the beach, with the fog low in the sky, but enough above the water that you could see quite far. We watched the birds and the waves, the gentle waves today, much softer than a few days ago. The birds glided along, a single reflection silently passing by. Quiet. Contemplative. An occasional cry of a gull. Peace.

When my wife began to play the clarinet, some of the birds sat and watched. And when she finished a lone seal swam by. She began to play again, and the seal paused, watching, listening, before diving under again.

It was a long moment of quiet joy.

What a great way to begin the day.

Dawn Prayers, Day 2

Well, it didn't happen today.

Despite the best of intentions, I just couldn't drag myself out of bed this morning. I tried (well, maybe not that hard), but I just couldn't do it.

Yesterday, my Mother was supposed to come into town yesterday around 8:30 pm, but her plane was delayed, and mess-ups happened, and she finally got in just after midnight.

I asked her if she wanted to join me at the beach at 6 am, but she said she'd rather not.

Anyways, I woke up at 6 and felt decidedly not well enough to go out, so I sort of rolled over, said, "Ya'Baha'u'l'Abha" and went back to sleep.

Besides, I heard the falling rain and thought I better have a back up plan for inclement weather.

Maybe tomorrow.

Dawn Prayers, Day 1

"It's a beautiful letter", he said last night, "of information, but I don't see where they actually tell us to do anything."

And that was where my mind kind of went, "Ping!"

We were talking about the recent message from the Universal House of Justice, dated 1 August 2014. And, you see, I can't imagine a letter from the Universal House of Justice like that in which we are not given some sort of indication of something to do. Of course, it may not be overtly stated, and you may have to hunt for it, but I think all of their messages give us guidance for some sort of action.

So what about this one?

Well, I'm not really sure, but this is what I found: "a place where souls gathered at daybreak for humble invocation and communion before flowing out of its doors to engage in their daily pursuits."

I mean, the whole letter begins with a bit about interfaith relations, or at least that's what I read in the quote referring to "the Lord of all religions", and then talks about the importance of community building and service. And while these are on-going things, it was this bit about gathering at dawn that caught my attention.

My train of thought, if you want, was really along the lines of "how can we prepare for a Masriqu’l-Adhkár in our own community?" And this is what I came up with. Let's try dawn prayers. Let's see what happens when we get together at daybreak and offer humble invocation before going forth to engage in our daily pursuits.

And so, this morning, at 5:45, my wife and I headed out of our home and down to the far end of the beach at the Esquimalt Lagoon. (We were way down by Lagoon Road, if you want to join us some day.)

There really is something about leaving the home to do it. It's not the same as just heading downstairs in your pajamas and saying a prayer or two while curled up on the sofa with a warm cup of coffee. It requires a degree of effort beyond just setting the alarm clock and heading back to sleep a few minutes later. There is a degree of sacrifice if you're not used to getting up at that time. It does mean changing the habit of one's routine to include that extra time in the morning. It does mean heading to bed a little bit earlier. But, hey, isn't all that a good thing? Isn't a major part of religion about using what we discover to change our behaviour for the better?

Anyways, we got there around 6 am, and were amazed at the lonely beauty of the beach at that early hour. There were tons of birds, and some seals bobbing their heads in the water. There were the early morning clouds still blanketing the mountains in the distance, with occasional flashes of lightning throughout. And there was the sound of the waves. Oh, the sound of those waves, with the piercing cry of the gulls, and bursting honks of the geese. What a symphony of sound.

We decided to grab our drums so that, just in case, others might know what we were doing: praying (that's a local Native tradition, drumming while praying). My wife grabbed some sweetgrass to smudge with (that's a Native ritual of cleansing with smoke), and I grabbed some blueberries (that's a traditional berry in the area that I eat before prayers) (but only because I was hungry). We parked our car (a traditional means of transportation to go from one place to another), at the far end near the restrooms (that's a traditional.... never mind).

And then we got out and sat on a log and began.

We must have gone on for about 30 minutes, reciting prayers, drumming, keeping beat with a rattle, and chanting. And it felt so good.

It felt SO good.

Of course, to be honest, there were some times when I felt that the various things my wife brought were a distraction, but that's ok. While smudging may not be part of my tradition, I don't insist on someone else not doing it. I just need to learn to not get distracted by it.

And while I sometimes found the drums distracting, that's ok, too. If they help someone else focus, great. I just need to learn not to be distracted. No problem.

We were getting ready to go when this man, who was watching us, waved to me. He had ridden his bike down to the lagoon,  heard the drums, and decided to stop. He saw a little sign near where we were that said "open", and figured that we had put it there. Well, we hadn't. We hadn't even noticed it. But we were glad he came by.

As he walked up to us, I read aloud the words on his shirt. "This little Indian loves Jesus".

It turns out he was visiting from Hawai'i, and had decided to ride the bike while waiting for his family to wake up.

We had a great conversation, shared places to visit. We all told a bit about our lives, our tests and our victories. It was truly delightful. I gave him our number, and asked him to call us. I hope he does. It would be wonderful to visit him near Volcano National Park some day. Perhaps he'll come by tomorrow, too.

Oh, and tomorrow we are going to bring down our white board to invite people to join us. We may not say "open", but we will sure be inviting. Perhaps we'll say "A gathering of gratitude - please feel free to join us."

This was a wonderful way to begin our day, and I look forward to trying this every day for the next week, just to see what happens.

Perhaps I'll make a habit of it.

A Thought about Cain

"Hmmm. That's odd."

Yes, that's a reference to a recent article I wrote, but really, it's what I said. It was funny.

All right. I was sitting there reading the Bible (actually The Tanakh, the Jewish order of the Book), and I ran across the story of Cain and Abel. You remember, guy kills brother and tried to hide it. Pretty basic, right? That's what I thought.

Until I read it again.

You see, I am of the opinion that there is absolutely nothing in sacred Text that is an accident. I believe that it is all there for a very particular reason. Well, usually multiple reasons, but there for at least one reason. And so I was reading the story of Cain and Abel again.

After a period of time, Cain brought an offering to Hashem of the fruit of the ground; and as for Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and from their choicest. Hashem turned to Abel and his offering, but to Cain and his offering he did not turn. This annoyed Cain exceedingly, and his countenance fell.
And Hashem said to Cain, 'Why are you annoyed, and why has your countenance fallen? Surely, if you improve yourself, you will be forgiven. But if you do not improve yourself, sin rests at the door. Its desire is toward you, yet you can conquer it.'
Cain spoke with his brother Abel. And it happened when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.
Hashem said to Cain, 'Where is Abel your brother?'
And he said, 'I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?'
The He said, 'What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground! Therefore, you are cursed more than the ground...'

Now this seems fairly straightforward, but there is something that I noticed that I began to wonder about. It occurred to me that God did not seem to get upset upon the murder itself. Nor did He appear to get upset over the deliberate misdirection. Oh, I say misdirection, for it is possible that Cain did not know where Abel went. After all, do any of us truly know where someone goes when they die?

Anyways, it seems to me that God really got upset when Cain added the additional comment, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

I mean, let's face it. God knew what happened. There's no question of that. And the traditional supposition is that He gave Cain the opportunity to confess.

But if that's really the case, then why that momentary delay in God's response? Doesn't it make more sense for Cain to say, "I don't know", and then God to immediately reply, "What have you done?" And yet He doesn't. He waits, just for a moment, perhaps, but He waits.

I've been thinking about this for a while now, especially in relation to community development, and this is what I've come up with. While I am sure that God is not happy about Abel's murder, I think it is this last statement that actually changes things. Prior to this moment it seems that we all worked as a community. We all looked after each other. And while there might have been some disagreements, perhaps even leading to violence, we still all saw ourselves as part of community. You had the shepherds, as exemplified by Abel, and you had farmers, as shown by Cain, but they were all family, all part of the same organic whole. Of course you probably had the typical disagreements between the two groups, as to who had the right to which piece of land, whether for grazing or farming, but they were still together.

Oh, and you also had those who gave willingly to God and to the community, with radiant acquiescence, as seen by the longer and more detailed description of Abel's offering, and those who may have given only grudgingly, perhaps seen by the lack of detail of Cain's offering.

But even then, they were part of the community, and everyone looked after each other.

Now, however, something has changed. With that singular statement, easily the most famous in Genesis 4, something changed. When Cain asks, "Am I my brother's keeper", he is in effect saying that he does not feel that he is responsible for anyone but himself. He is no longer part of community. He is now thinking of himself before the community. And that is the beginning of a very long and tortuous road in history.

"What", God says, likely with infinite sadness, seeing this path before us, "have you done?"

So long as we think of ourselves, and our own needs, first before those of the community, we truly will be "cursed more than the ground".

A Thought on Unity, part 3 of 3

We began with the simple idea of seeing the world in terms of positive values, instead of opposites. Then we continued with the concept of seeing everything in terms of a giant spiral, in which creation moves from the micro levels up to macro levels.

My question, though, is what good does this do us? How can we apply this idea of the spiral in our daily life?

To start, I'd like to refine the spiral just a bit. Imagine, if you will, that the line of the spiral is a wall. Oh, but not your normal wall. No, that just wouldn't do. It's a really tiny wall, say even starting at the ground itself. And the further it moves away from the centre, the taller it gets. Where we are, as humans, we can easily see over the wall between us and the centre, but that part of the wall that is on the outer edge of us, we can't. It's too tall. It blocks our view.

Why is this important?

Simple. Everything in any of the various kingdoms can comprehend that which is before it, to some degree or another. Animals, after all, know which plants and minerals are good for them, and we understand a bit about animals and minerals. "(N)o lower degree", says Abdu'l-Baha, "can understand a higher, such comprehension being impossible." He goes on and explains, "The higher plane, however, understandeth the lower. The animal, for instance, comprehendeth the mineral and vegetable, the human understandeth the planes of the animal, vegetable and mineral. But the mineral cannot possibly understand the realms of man. And notwithstanding the fact that all these entities co-exist in the phenomenal world, even so, no lower degree can ever comprehend a higher." So this wall is just a way to explain why we only get a tiny glimpse into the next kingdom. And perhaps why many don't believe it exists. (They seem to figure that some exit from the spiral is just around the corner, just barely out of sight.)

So, what does this have to do with my daily life? Baha'u'llah, as I'm sure you well know, said that heaven was nearness to God. Well, what He actually said was, "They say: 'Where is Paradise, and where is Hell?' Say: 'The one is reunion with Me; the other thine own self, O thou who dost associate a partner with God and doubtest.'"

Oh, still not clear? Well, I was at a school recently in which Dr Nader Saiedi said that the Bab had defined heaven as "the fulfillment of one's potential". I cannot verify this quote, for it was, I believe, his own translation, but it sure accords with everything I've read from the Bab.

When I combine these two concepts, heaven being nearness to God, as well as fulfillment of one's potential, and then mix it in the blender of my brain with the concept of that spiral, this is what I get: We seem to be somewhere in this spiral, and have the potential to move either forwards or backwards on it a bit. Moving forwards, towards the spiritual realms, is the same as moving towards God and the fulfilling of our potential as human beings, which is likened unto heaven. If we fall prey to our selfish desires, then this is giving in to our animalistic nature, and this is moving backwards along the spiral, which is like hell.

Of course, now that I have peered into the blender of my mind, all sorts of other things begin to show themselves. Baha'u'llah, in the Seven Valleys, quotes a famous Hadith that says, "Knowledge is a single point, but the ignorant have multiplied it." Of course, there seem to be two basic branches of knowledge, namely science and religion.

Science is the discovery of the world around us, which is the acquisition of knowledge. It helps us understand how cause and effect work in the physical realm, and help us use that to our advantage. This is one way to move a little bit further around that spiral. Of course, how we use that knowledge is another thing altogether. If we use our knowledge to the benefit of the human race, then we are showing forth our virtues, helping them grow and develop, and this moves us even further around that spiral towards the outer edges. But if we use that knowledge solely for our own personal benefit, to feed our own selfish desires, then that is more animal-like and moves us further in the spiral, into the narrow portions of it.

What about religion? Well, true religion, as opposed to superstition or blind dogmatic belief, also helps us discover how the world functions. It helps us understand more about the spiritual side of cause and effect. Every religion out there gives us moral guidelines that are to our own benefit. They also provide guidance about what humanity needs at any given time, and where we should focus our attention.

In either case, science or religion, they both help us move further along that spiral of growth towards the outer layers, for we are helping develop our attribute of knowledge.

Well, presuming that we use that knowledge for good and the betterment of humanity.

But how else does this spiral help in my daily life? I remember a long time ago someone told me that one of my jobs in life was to help others develop their own potential. Now I think it is more than just that, I think I am also here to help all things develop their potential, not just other people.

Take a rock, for example. If the heaven of that rock is to fulfill its potential, then I can help it attain its own heaven by doing just that. How, I'm not exactly sure, but I like to think of my artwork as a step in that process.

I do know, though, that I could easily help it attain its own hell: Pollution.

I think that something is pollution only because it is not fulfilling its potential. When we look at something, like a piece of plastic, and only see a short-term use for it, like a bag, then once that use is done, it is considered garbage. And that must be like hell for that piece of plastic. I believe that our job as spiritual beings is to see the long-term use of everything, and ensure that it is used to the best of its ability.

When I think of the environmental movement, this is what I envision.

And you know what? The same goes for animals. If we see an elephant merely as a carrier for a piece of ivory, then we are denying the full magnificent reality of that animal.

It also goes for children. When educators see children in a class room merely as identical cogs in a machine, or as numbers by which they can get more funding, then that is a sign of the impending failure of the educational system, and a poor forecast for the future of the community.

This spiral helps me envision my own place in a very complex world, filled with incredible diversity. It helps me see how I can be of assistance to everything around me, from minerals to animals and even people. It also helps me envision my own goal in life, namely to try and move ever further around that bend.

And you know what? Some people would say that I've already succeeded! They would say that I'm already slightly around the bend.